Dear Tyler
by XintoxicatedxbyxTwilightX
Summary: I wake up in bed, alone, and think your at the diner writing to Michael like you always do, and that you'll be home soon. Then I see your untouched belongings and it hits me all over again. Your gone. Your really gone.
1. Chapter 1

Dear Tyler,

I know it's been a while and I'm sorry for that. I've been busy with the pregnancy and haven't had the time to come to talk to you. I would have gladly stayed at home and wrote to you, but that didn't feel right. I have no memories of you there, that's why I come here. The little Hindi restaurant we went to on our first date. I always sit in the small booth by the window, so while I write to you, I can look up at the clear skies and know your listening.

Aidens' worried about me, he doesn't say it, but I can tell every time he looks at me. I wanted to stop by Caroline's today but decided not to, I wouldn't be able to tell her 'hi' without crying. Oh Tyler! She doesn't draw anymore. I went to visit a while back and all the pictures she had of you were torn down, she stashed them where no one else would see them. Her hair grew back out, its beautiful. I never noticed before that you and Caroline have the same hair color.

Its raining today, does that mean your crying Tyler? Don't cry. Please don't cry. If anyone should be crying, it should be us. The people you left behind. Your mom went back into therapy after you died, she's doing better. . . but I still cant even talk to her. She starts tearing up whenever she looks at me, only because I have a little piece of you stuck inside. We've been debating names, I wanted to name him Michael, your mom wants to name him Tyler. But I don't think I can deal with hearing that name all the time.

Your dad's doing good too. He's been spending so much time with Caroline, that she even confessed to me that it was getting annoying. I kinda know how she feels, she just wants to be alone. But even she needs a little guidance once in a while, don't you think?

I moved out of the apartment with Aiden, my dad wants me to come back home and stay with him in Queens. I'm not sure about that. I mean, I love him yeah, but I don't think he would be able to help support the baby when he's at work all the time.

Your mom offered me your old room at her house with Les. I know I would be better of there than anywhere else. . . but its just so hard! Everywhere I look I see something that reminds me of you.

It's like I cant escape your presence. Are you here with me Tyler? Sometimes I think I can feel your warmth beside me, but I'm never sure. I hope its you. . .

Jesus. The baby has been kicking like crazy the last couple of days. . . Like right now, its kicking away. Tyler, I have to be honest, with you not here, I wonder sometimes if I'll survive another day. Then I think, I have to survive, for everyone else sake. I have to. It kills me that you'll never be able to hold our little Mikey.

I got a tattoo recently by the way. Aiden and I got ones together. . . in memory of you. Were not gonna tell anyone about them though, because it's just between us. He got it on his right bicep. Your name.

I got your name tattoed on the back of my neck, no one will see it unless I wear my hair up. . . which I wont anymore. Theres a heart there too, its to remind me of my first real love. You.

You know whats ridiculous? The fact that even though its been months since youve dissapeared, I cant stop thinking that maybe your not even gone. And when I wake up in the morning, alone in bed, I think that maybe your at the cafe, writing to Michael. But then I see your untouched belongings and it hits me all over again. Your gone. Like, Your _really_gone. I tried writing at your grave but it just wasnt working for me. I feel like I'm talking to myself. . . your not there. Thats not were your spirit was layed to rest. Your bodies not there either.

We never found you.

Your dad hired so many people to search for you that day. He had it stuck in his head that you were there. . . trapped. But alive all the same. But you never showed up. It's like you were hiding from us. . . as if you didnt want to be discovered in the ash. Is that true? Were you saving us from seeing the body that we once knew? That was gracious of you, I wouldnt have been able to stomach the idea of what you may have looked like.

Caroline asked me once what I thought burning alive would feel like. I didnt give her an answer. . . she knows thats how you left us. In a ball of fire. . . we never talk about that though. I must admit it though, the idea intrigued me. I held my hand over the stove, just to feel the slight sensation of what you had to endure.

It hurt so much!

Tyler I'm so sorry thats how you had to leave. I wish I could have been there with you, I should have gone with you. Better yet, I should have kept you from even going! I should have begged you to sleep a while longer while I leaned against you. I should have made you eat breakfast first. . . anything!

I feel bad, Caroline told me once that she blamed herself. She thought it was her fault that you left us. . . because she had made a big deal about her hair. And the incident with you at her school, she just blames herself. I told her though, that it wasnt. . . I told her that it was God's plan to take you then because he had better things instore for you.

She wanted to know why God was taking everyone she loved from her. I reminded her so many times that I wouldnt leave her, that I would be in her life in replace as you. Though I could never fill in for the love you gave her. She's happy though, to be an aunt. She said no matter what she's holding our baby first. I told her she could be in the delivery room with me. . . in place of you.

Hey, before I forget, can you tell my mom I said hi, and that I love her and miss her? Its been so long, and I bet she'd be glad to hear from me. Tell her about our baby too if you can. She'd be happy to hear that were having a son.

I sometimes think about the future. When he grows up, will I ever be able to show him a picture of you? When he goes to school and learns the tradegies of 9/11 in History, will he know that his own father was apart of that?

I want his first words to be daddy. . . just for you. Though he wont have you, I'll teach him to love you. I'll teach him that your always with him.

Their cleaning out the buildings that fell now, and sometimes I think that after all this time, they'll finally find you. Or maybe they wont, and your life will be added to garbage pile and taken away.

Maybe your ashes flew away with the wind, and maybe, just maybe your everywhere at once. And I'm just missing your presence. I hope thats what happened, that the wind picked you up and carried you off to be with everyone at one time.

But at the same time, Im selfish enough to wish that your with me. . . and _only_ me.

Maybe when all the garbage is taken out, and they start building ground zero, and the memorial there, I can visit. I know you'd be there. . . your name was inscribed into marble down there. . . at the memorial. Maybe I'll be able to touch the cold marble, and graze your name with my fingertips and feel you. Maybe. . .

I havent gone, but Aiden has. He said even he couldnt keep from crying. So God only knows how much of a tear fest I'll have.

I miss you. I wanna say I forgive you for leaving me. . . but I cant. Not yet atleast.

Maybe some day. But not now. Not when my life is coming together for the baby. . . I just. . . cant. Its too hard. I still havent even said my real goodbyes.

I cant wait for the day when I can see you again. . . though I hope that day doesnt come soon for our families sake. I have to be here for Michael. I have to. I wouldnt be fare to him to have both his parents taken from him. . .

God I hate you. No. I dont hate you, but I just wanna scream that for some reason. Maybe its because I miss you so damn much. I miss your kisses, your lingering fingertips, your hair, your eyes, your smile, your laugh, everything.

I miss you.

And nothing can ever take that away.

I love you.

I wish I had said it to you honestly that morning. . . and though it was truthful. . . looking back on it now, I wish I would have said to you a thousand other times in a million different ways.

But I didnt, and I can never go back to fix that.

So Tyler Keets Hawkins I'm saying it now with all the meaning in the world. . . I _love_ you.

So damn much.

But I wish it were enough to bring you back.

The diner is closing now, I gotta leave. But I'll come back tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day. . . I'll keep coming back. No matter what. And hopefully, when Michael's older, I can bring him here too, and sit in the same booth we sat at.

I love you Tyler, forever,

_**Ally**_

"Miss, were closing up." The waiter tapped her shoulder, Ally looked up, forgetting for a minute where she was as she scribbled down her last few sentences. He gave her a heart felt look. He was the owner, he knew Ally, and he saw her come in all the time.

She'd sit at the same spot, gazing out the window and up at the sky.

"Oh. Im sorry." She sighed, she closed her journal and tied the draw strings tight around it. She whiped the stray tear and smiled up at him. "I lost track of time." He smiled back at her.

"Don't be sorry." He whispered.

Ally pulled her hoodie over her head as stood up, she put her bag over her shoulder and put her hands in her sweater pockets, secretly cradeling her baby.

It was raining outside, and the black sky was cloudy. . . except one patch in the north, were she could see a dissaray of stars lighting up her eyes.

"Hey Tyler." She whispered, she squinted her eyes against the rain, bit her lips and smiled.

Though the rain was cold against her cheeks, she felt warmth. . . and it cradeld her in a protecting way.

"I feel you." She smiled, basking in the light warmthness. . . "Your here."

The rain drops fell, and she kept her head towards the sky, loving the way it hit her skin, and slid down her throat.

It washed away all her tears.

Ally waited for a cab to take her back home. And when it came, she hesitated, not wanting to leave the warmth she felt behind. . . but got inside, and leaned her head against the window. . . watching the one patch of stars light up the sky the whole ride home.

Ally had felt Tyler for the first time tonight. . . and she knew he truly wasnt _gone_.

**AN: So I usually write Twilight based fanfictions, but when I saw this movie opening night in theatres, then watched it again and again on DVD, I knew I had to add something to their story.**

**I cried writing this, and though I know alot of people havent seen the movie, I hope you will fall in love with just as I have after reading this. Im a huge Twilight fan, but even I said that this movie is my all time favorite. **

**The story is so gut wrenching that I had to write some closure for Ally's sake. So like Tyler did, she writes to him in the one place she could remember him so easily. The hindi diner where he took her for their first date.**

**I hope you guys liked it. . . for this story, I had one song replaying because it fit the scene SO perfectly. Give it a listen while you read the story. . . its beautiful.**

**Its called "My Love by SIA" 333**

**Its a beautiful song:)**

**Well thanks for reading, hope you like and review it.**

**Love,**

**Ashley**


	2. AUTHORS NOTE: May Expand Story!

Authors Note:

I'm sorry for getting your hopes up that maybe this was an actual update. I was planning on having 'Dear Tyler' only be a One-Shot, But I woke up nearly 5 minutes ago because the need to expand this story had been bothering me. I really want Ally to have an actual happy ending, even though Tyler's gone.

So, there is now a POLL up on my page on whether or not I should expand this story, or keep it as it is.

Its up to you guys, either way I'll write out the story, but its your decision on if I should post it. If you don't, its fine and I'll just write the story out for myself, so I can have a side of what may or may not have happened.

Once again, Up to YOU guys, so please go vote. Don't comment on this post because regardless, it will be deleted once Ive received some opinions.

So if you liked this story, and love the movie, go vote on your opinion. You do have a say in this, so please do vote.

:)

Thanks again guys,

Ashley

P.S. If you vote yes, send me an email and I'd be glad to share my ideas for this story. :)


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